All Ya Need is Love

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  1 John 4:7 (NIV)

LOVE love love love…all ya need is love… come on- sing it with me!

While reading John chapter 4, I can’t help but think that – LOVE – real love, true love- is not always rainbows and sunshine.

Sometimes love is hard truth given as gently as possible.

Sometimes love is the willingness to bear the brunt of another’s hurt and clean up a mess you didn’t make.

Sometimes love is well set boundaries and sometimes it’s looking another in the eye and laying it all out for them right at the bottom line.

Sometimes love is refusing to allow someone to treat you in a way that is not acceptable because they need to learn that it’s not okay and no one else has ever loved them enough to have the courage to stand up to them before.

And then there are the things that love is always…

In bold is how 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (MSG) lays it out for us well:

Love never gives up.

Not even on people that make your eyeballs itch

Love cares more for others than for self.

Even when they care more about themselves than about you

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Even when it seems completely unfair and illogical that someone else would have it  

Love doesn’t strut,

Because we know that anything we have of value is only due to God’s grace and favor  

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Because it’s not about us but about Him in us  

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Because God is a gentleman and we should strive to be like Him  

Isn’t always “me first,”

Because we are to think of others before ourselves 

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Because we are to treat others the way we would like to be treated  

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Because in the same measure that we have received forgiveness…so should we give  

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Because we should hold the heart of God toward them

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Even when it’s hard, life changing and unrelenting  

Puts up with anything,

Because God puts up with us

Trusts God always,

Even when we don’t understand, because no one is more trustworthy    

Always looks for the best,

Because God valued each of us enough to die for us

Never looks back,

Because it doesn’t ever help you get where you want to go

But keeps going to the end.

No matter how much time or energy it takes

It seems to me, in the body of Christ, we have come to often confuse real love for false in your face kindness. The truth is however, that real love can be hard, unpleasant and uncomfortable and most people just don’t want to get their hands dirty. It’s easier not to.

For most of us, our own lives can be so consuming, so distracting, so very FULL within themselves that to take the time, energy and perseverance necessary to really love our brothers and sisters in Christ often requires more than we feel we have or want to give.

And yet, we are told in John 13:35 that the world is suppose to be able to recognize that we are Disciples of Christ by our love for one another.

In the absence of love, offense, un-forgiveness and strife are able to rear their ugly heads and take control of situations, circumstances and relationships.

John reminds us “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” (1 John 4:16)

Father, help me to love as you love.

The Naked Truth

but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— Eph 4:15 (NKJ) 

It had been years since I had been to an OB appointment.  After the birth of my second child and my husband’s gracious and sacrificial act of permanent birth control assurance, I had no trouble finding ample excuses for years of why I couldn’t go.

Somehow this became the topic of conversation among a group of female friends all sitting at the same table.  As I jested at how long it had been since I had been, the dear friend in front of me countered with a stern look containing both gentle disapproval and genuine concern.  She “encouraged” me, on no uncertain terms, to call her the following week with the name of the doctor and appointment time at which they would be seeing me. She shared of someone important in her life whose life had been saved due to the early detection of cervical cancer as a result of a pap smear.  In all of my taking care of others, she assured me, it was necessary that I take care of myself.

I can’t imagine that a Pap smear falls among the “top ten favorites” of any female’s list of life. Due to a childhood filled with traumatic sexual abuse however, I seem to struggle more than most when it comes to this unpleasant yet admittedly necessary task.  I did make the appointment but only penciled it in on my calendar and commenced contemplating my options.  Briefly, just briefly, I thought that perhaps I could just lie about it to my well meaning friend… I mean after all she wasn’t coming with me.  Feeling sick guilty at just the thought, I scratched that option off of my list.  I could accidentally forget…I mean, I do keep a very busy schedule.  I knew however that that excuse would fly about as well as… well…something that doesn’t. I would only be postponing the inevitable.  Deep down inside my friends’ words held much value to me because, like it or not, I knew that they were filled with truth.

The day arrived.  Dread was waiting beside my bed staring me in the face as I woke up.  Before my feet hit the floor, my mind cycled through old familiar emotions of sadness, anger, self-pity… frustration that the choices of others still had the ability to impact my life as they did.

I cried all the way to the office.  It was the normal routine.  I was thankful that the doctor came in to meet me for the first time before I was required to remove all of my clothing, drape the ugly, drab green, too thin hospital gown over myself and lay flat on the uncomfortable examining table with my feet in the stirrups.  As I shared my history with her the tears began again and refused to stop.  Exposed, vulnerable, and uncomfortable only skim the surface of the depth of my feelings.  The doctor was gentle, kind and understanding.  I was most thankful when at the conclusion of the exam she asked me if I would like to slip out of the back door of the office so I wouldn’t have to deal with a waiting room full of people. I’m quite certain that, at that moment, she could not have offered me a more gracious gift.

Good friends are the friends that are willing to speak truth, even the hardest of truth, in love.  They are the ones that are willing to bear the brunt of your response to truth for the sake of your well-being.  These are the kind of friends we should be most thankful for.  These are the kind of friends we should strive to be.

Father, help me to always speak the truth in love to others.          

Off The Wall

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Gal 5:1) NIV

Each day, one by one, I call the children in my classroom up to my desk to read aloud.  Happy to have a break from their seatwork, they eagerly await their turn. As I finish with one student they all look up expectantly with hopeful little faces to see if they will next to be called.  Upon hearing their name they smile, scoot their chair out, stretch, and wiggle their way to take their place.

It never fails however, that only moments into the assigned reading, the initial excitement and energy quickly fades into an all-around fidgety state of being.  The wall behind us begins to draw them like a magnet to a refrigerator, causing them to lean back against it as their feet wander aimlessly, usually and eventually finding their way to the base of my roll-y teacher’s chair. As their posture falters, so does their aptitude to read aloud well.  I find myself gently and repeatedly reminding them to “stand up straight,”  “get off of the wall.”  Each time they stand up straight their reading improves dramatically, however, their tenacity to continue to stand, straight and still for any length of time remains a challenge.

It can be difficult to stand firm.

For most, it is easy to recognize a place within our lives where it is necessary that we stand firm lest we be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.  Though the variety of yoke varies from jealousy to fear to addiction, the burden of slavery does not.  According to Webster, the definition of slavery is “Submission to a dominating influence.”  What we submit ourselves to…what we obey; it is that influence which becomes our Master.

Paul put adequate words to the way all of us can relate to feeling sometimes in Romans 7:15. He says… “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.”  It sounds crazy, illogical and nonsensical and yet I’ve been there a million times.  How is it that we find ourselves doing those very things that we do not want to do, those very things that we repeatedly hate, regret and feel guilty about later? It is because we have allowed something to become our master.

I can relate to that.  For years I struggled with an eating disorder.  Motivated by fear and need for control, I intentionally and repeatedly abused my body.  Even after I came to a place where I was ready to be finished with that which I had initially chosen, it was a long journey to recovery.  Choices which I once ran to and embraced as comfort had become my unrelenting Master and would not easily relinquish the control they had over me.

Being free for years now, I’m still surprised when hints of that which once was will find their way to the door of my heart and try to sneak in.  I still have to choose to stand firm by being mindful and conscious of choices that I make, situations that I place myself in, and even how high I allow the stress level in my life to get.

Instead of leaning on the wall of our own understanding, we  must choose to lean on the Lord and the truth of His Word which reminds us in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that “I am a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come!”

Father, help me to choose to stand upon the truth of your Word in all areas of my life so that I will be able to walk in the freedom that you have provided for me.     

Face Forward

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:13-14 (NKJ)

While watching the New Year’s Day football game, my rotund, furry, well fed dog sat squarely in front of me.  Her pleading brown eyes worked hard to assure me that if she didn’t get at least one bite of the chips and dip I was enjoying, she might not survive. Correcting the inappropriate begging behavior, I told her to “go on” which is translated by her doggy ears as “stop looking at mom while she’s eating.”  Obedient canine that she is, she moved forward two steps, made a 180 degree turned and plopped down again. “Good girl” I affirmed her.  After a crunching on a few more corn chips I casually glanced in her direction.  This time, although her entire body was still positioned away from me, she was craning her neck in a way that she was able to turn her entire head and face backward. Her chin now resting on her back she began to wag her tail just slightly when I began to laugh.  As obedient as she was being, she was being equally disobedient.

I can understand her dilemma.  Sometimes it is difficult to “not look back.”  For some, this past year was tremendous; one which held great victories, great favor, great accomplishments and great memories.  There have been life impacting events which took place that will be forever etched into your mind.  The birth of a child, a grandchild, a career changing promotion, a life changing revelation, and freedom you have never known before; it is vital to appreciate, celebrate and commemorate the goodness and faithfulness of God.  And yet, we must look forward.  Even when looking back at the “good things”  if we look back too hard, too much, for too long, we can get distracted from that next place that the Lord wants to take us.  It brings to mind those individuals who I have seen jumping hurdles in track and field competitions.  Continually facing forward, as soon as they jump one obstacle, their eyes are immediately upon the next, the goal to arrive at the finish line. Not once have I ever seen a competitor jump over those first few hurdles and then stop, sit down in the middle of the track and celebrate. Instead, facing forward, they continue on to finish the race.

For others, this was a year like no other for different reasons.  Perhaps difficulty, hardship and pain were what you felt this year mostly had to offer.  Perhaps your own poor choices or someone else’s had something to do with it; instead maybe it was only the circumstances of life that were able to wear you down.  Different circumstances, same destination… face forward.  Choose not to determine to allow your “has been” to determine your “is” or your “will be.”

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.     

His plan for you is to continue to move forward.   As we begin this New Year I encourage you to thank Him for what you have gleaned after the gift given of another year of life.  The lessons learned, the obstacles overcome, the accomplishments achieved.  Praise Him for His goodness and faithfulness to walk you through even the most difficult of circumstances.  Offer Him any unresolved hurt, anger or bitterness that lingers.  Humble yourself, submit your will to His and prepare your heart to receive.  Face forward child of God…Face Forward.

 Father, help me to face forward and embrace all that you have for me this year.   

OH! Christmas Tree

On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. John 7:37 (NKJ)

I like the idea of our entire family all bundled in cozy winter attire piling in the car and exuberantly caroling the entire ride to the Christmas tree farm; ax in hand we would search until we found that perfect tree.  With the final blow we would unanimously cheer “tim-ber!” and our beautiful tree of green would fall. Together we would drag it back to the car and sing all the way home except when we stop for hot cocoa. Yep, that sounds so seasonally festive to me.

As often is the case our realty ended up being much different.  It was “the boys” alone who headed out to find that perfect tannenbaum with which to grace our home this Christmas.  Instead of a tree farm, it was the front of our local grocery store where they handpicked it. Upon arriving home from running errands I was thrilled to find it already up, lit and ready for our the night of decorating.  We did however drink hot cocoa, so the dream lives on.

Our little tree did its job well the first few days.  Standing tall, proud and strong it bore the weight of multicolored ornaments that had been collected throughout the years.  Around the fourth day however, something looked a little different.  The arms which once stood out straight and firm now looked weak and limp.  The branches, which originally filled the living room with the refreshing smell of pine now barely held a scent at all.  The needles, which once were pliable and elastic had become dry and brittle and rained in a cascade when barely touched. Our tree was dying.

Extensive research consisting of sticking my finger in the green container that held the trunk caught me by surprise.  I expected the “root” of our issue to be found in a lack of water, unfortunately this would not be an unfamiliar problem encountered by plants that found their way to our household.  The truth however was not a lack of water at all, but instead, an inability of our little tree to drink the water that was available to it.  Apparently, pre-cut live trees seal themselves and need to be re-cut so that they are able to soak up water.

Jesus tells us in John 7:37 that if we are thirsty we should come to Him and drink.  As believers we have come to Him.  We invite Him into our hearts, offer Him our lives and begin developing that eternal relationship that will be like no other we have ever known.

Once we have come to Him we have the opportunity to drink.  It seems however that in the lives of some, different issues have sealed up their heart in places preventing them from drinking in the fullness of all the Lord has for them.

In my own life it was un-forgiveness which acted as a sealing factor within my heart.   Un-forgiveness effectively sealed in anger, bitterness and turmoil and sealed out the freedom, peace and joy that was always available yet seemingly unattainable to me.  It wasn’t until I allowed the Lord to cut un forgiveness off of my life that I was able to fully drink in the amazing freedom He had for me.

What needs to be cut off of your life today Child of God?  Is there something preventing you from being able to fully drink in all He has for you?  Humble yourself, submit it to Him and allow Him to do within you the work that needs to be done.

Help me Lord not only to come to you, but to remain open and available for you to continue that good work you have begun within me.