Keep the Change

 Now the LORD had said to Abram: “Get out of your country, From your family, And from your father’s house, to a land that I will show you.” Gen 12:1 NKJ

“Outward processor” that I am, my husband was a faithful sounding board as I worked through the options again…and again….and again. He just listened while I laid out our choices, picked them up and scrutinized them, and then repeatedly found myself at the same indisputable conclusion.  God was asking me to make a change.

Up until this point I had been comfortable where I was.  For months though, the Lord had been revealing to me, in the gentle way that He does, that it was time to move forward into the next thing.  Unwilling to deal with the brewing discontentment,  I shoved it into to the pile  labeled denial.  The inner nudge was confirmed however when that which once seemed easy, was easy no longer, and the satisfaction, joy and fulfillment that had once been now waned.  Each were replaced by an undeniable hunger for more and different.   Seeking Him to discern the lack of peace, it was found when I acknowledged the life transition He was leading me to walk in.

Transiton

1. a:  passage from one state, stage, subject or place to another  : CHANGE

Because change is one of my least favorite things,  I struggle not to grimace at my change loving friends.  To them, change magnifies life as an adventure; and venture they do, diving boldly into the deep places of the unknown equipped with faith.  Me, I’m more of a stick my toe in the water kind of girl when it comes to transition; because we all know that, once you do a cannon ball into the pool of change, there are no takesy-backsys.

Change requires Faith.  Change requires Trust.  Change requires us to step out blindfolded into the unknown.  It demands our own willingness to allow the Spirit of God to lead and guide us into all truth, all the while trusting that He is making our path straight and will not allow us to fall.  Change, in my opinion, is hard and each time it knocks upon the door of my life, I quietly  peek out of the peephole of my heart, deciding whether I will let it in.

I know that God’s Word is complete, infallible and undeniably true.  When I read the account of Abram however something seems to be missing.  God told Abram to “go,” and Abram went. I would love to have been the fly upon that tent flap when he went home and shared this news with his wife Sarai.  Had I been her I’m sure I would have responded something like “So, let me get this straight; we are packing up everything we have, and leaving everyone we know, to go …and we don’t even know where we are going?!”

I might need to read it again because somehow I missed the part where they whined, cried, feared, questioned and doubted in response to God’s command before they were obedient.  It isn’t there; They heard, and they obeyed.  They trusted their God which told them to “go” so much that they knew if He was telling them to go, then where He was taking them had to be better  that where they now were.

That same God who told them to “go” is just as faithful within my own life, and yours too.  What is familiar always seems safer than the unknown.  The truth remains however that God loves us so much that if He is telling us to “go,” then we can be confident that where He is leading us is the best place for us to be.

Father, help me to have the courage to obey when you tell me to “go.” 

True Love

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your [mind and] heart and with your entire being and with all your might. (Deut 6:5)

I didn’t love my husband when we got married.  It sounds horrible to say but it is true.  After a year of dating, including three months of engagement we stood at the altar, said sacred vows before both God and man and committed our till death do we part love to one another.

Looking back I realize that even though I thought I loved him, really what I was in love with was the idea of being chosen to be loved by him.  I was desperate to be above all others in his heart and life, for the remainder of mine.  I was nineteen; my frame of reference regarding love was limited at best and tainted at worst.

Fifteen years later I believe that I have now at least begun to understand the deep intertwinings of  what love is.  I found and pieced various aspects of it together along the way to offer a clearer yet still incomplete picture.  As we live out the rest of our lives together, I pray that perhaps one day I will know the fullness of what it means to truly love another human being with all that you are, to the very depths of your soul, for your whole life.

Although I know now that it has taken place, there is not a specific time that I am able to pinpoint that transition from not really loving to loving.

I do know where it didn’t happen though.  It wasn’t the result of  beautiful flowers sent, decadent chocolates presented or even  memorable romantic weekend getaways.  As well, it wasn’t found in quaint candlelight dinners, or soft satin sheets amidst the throes of passion. Although all of those things have been wonderfully splendid parts of our marriage, this is not where I discovered love.

Instead, I believe it was stolen from and accumulated in many different kinds of moments.  Moments of commitment through heartache, communication so difficult it demanded tears and forgiveness which lacked an “I told you so.”

This is where I found love.

My relationship with my husband serves as an adequate metaphor for my relationship with my Lord.  In my teens I confessed with my mouth and believed in my heart that Jesus was my Lord…. but I didn’t really love Him.  I was thankful for the security of eternal salvation, daily renewed grace and a robe of righteousness to replace my rags of filth, but the truth is, I was primarily focused on Him loving and saving me and thought very little about the reciprocal.

A selfish, self-serving love isn’t really love at all.

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment of transition but know that it has occurred.  It wasn’t found in the moments of abundant blessings, exuberant celebrations of His goodness or mountaintop experiences of favor poured out.  My heart remains so thankful and yet; those are not the places where my love for Him became real.

Instead, it has accumulated in many different kinds of moments.  Moments of undeniably undeserved grace. Moments of commitment through heartache, communication so difficult it demanded tears and forgiveness which lacked an “I told you so.”

My love for both my God and my husband became most real within me when my heart’s focus shifted from what they could do for me to what I could do for them.

True love requires an unwavering commitment, sacrifice and willingness to serve wholeheartedly.

True love is demanding requiring that the giver hold nothing back.

True love never disappoints because it is in the giving that you receive

Father… your love for me is unwavering, abundant and faithful… help me to love you in that same way. 

What’s Your Problem?

And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.  But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 

Having new people over for dinner can be stressful.  For some reason, that first time they come over I practically fall over myself trying to make everything perfect.  As I’m cleaning I’m amazed at the dirt in my house that suddenly becomes visible to my eyes. Dust on the ceiling fans and fingerprints on the light switch covers scream at me when usually remaining silent. I dind myself wondering….”how long has it looked like that?”

I light candles to mask the odeur de canine attempting to replace it with something that smells more like cinnamon or sea breeze.  My husband cooks.  Not a normal meal that we would have like tacos or meatloaf, but something more splendid like Chicken Cordon Bleu.  We go “all out” to offer our guests a delightful dining experience.

Okay, so we’ve all heard the story of Mary and Martha.  Two sisters with two different personalities. In having two of my own children, I have seen the unpleasant places this can lead.

I’ve always kind of thought that Martha got a bad rap in this whole deal.  I mean, she invited Jesus over for dinner!  It wasn’t like it was just anybody.  She wanted to bless His socks off!; Oh- wait, sandals…she wanted to bless his sandals off. I think if I were Martha, in the very midst of the busyness of dinner preparations, a quick glance yielding the realization that Mary had left her assigned duties and was now, instead, seated at the feet of our VIP guest I might would be a little perturbed too.

Martha looked for some help from the most influential person in the room.  I can picture her, standing there, one hand on her hip and one in the air pleading her case, looking back and forth between Jesus and her sister.  If anything like me, the more she talked the louder her voice became as the frustration within began to spill out in her emotion laden words indicating exactly what her problem was. Surely He would come to her defense,  after all, it wasn’t that she didn’t want to spend time with Jesus…she was the one that had invited Him over to begin with!

Martha, I think, was more than surprised by the response she received.  Jesus was quick to point out that her sister, which she thought was her problem, wasn’t her problem at all.  He assured her instead that it was Martha that was Martha’s problem.  When he called her out about being “worried and troubled about many things”  I think they both knew that he was referring to more than what was cooking in the pot.

I know this Jesus.  The one who, when I come to him with emotion and frustration resulting from  issues regarding others and their behaviors He never fails to bring me right back to myself.  Silence in abundance is the typical feedback I receive regarding others responsibilities, responses and reasoning.  He is faithful to listen, allowing me to rant and rave as I must; however, at the completion of my pouring it all out before Him He always says the same thing…”okay, now, let’s talk about you.”

Before I have the chance to remind Him that we haven’t really talked about them, He begins to reveal to me the truth about my own responsibilities, responses and reasoning.  At the conclusion of our time together I’m usually repenting for whatever the issue really is.

So I ask…what’s your problem? It may not be what you think. Spend time with Him to find out.

Father, thank you for being faithful to complete that good work you have begun in me. 

Tanya Glanzman

Sleep for Sheep

I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8

I laid there for what seemed like hours.  My mind reeled, refusing to stop.  Like hamsters on a wheel thoughts cycled over and over again.  On my left side, right side, leg thrown over my husband who was sleeping on his side…each little sound in the room was being magnified directly through a megaphone into my ears.

Beyond frustrated and beginning to feel a little desperate I closed my eyes attempting to will myself to sleep.  Each look at the alarm clock reminded me how exhausted I would be when I had to get up in only 3 hours.  Deliberate about taking slow, deep breaths I thought that perhaps if I acted like I was asleep I could fool my body into moving in that direction.  It didn’t matter, nothing worked,  I gave up and got up.

As quietly as possible I snuck out of my bedroom; looking back at my husband I envied his steady snoozing. Grabbing a cup of hot tea, I sunk onto the couch settling into the darkness. My aware yet exhausted condition met with the quiet inactivity of early morning making room for the still small voice within.

“My Child, why do you fear?”

Immediately pegged I was disarmed by the truth of where my problem lie.  Abandoning the formalities of my normal quiet time routine I simply sat before the Lord, cried, and allowed my heart to spill out before Him.  I did fear.  I feared the unknown involved in the changes that loomed ahead.  Too many questions lacked answers and too much was out of my control.  Not even knowing exactly what lie ahead, I felt powerless to prepare.

Proverbs 3:5,6 rose up within me, “Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and lean not on your  own understanding;  In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”  It wasn’t an unfamiliar passage to my heart. Touched with a tinge of guilt, I knew that I was supposed to trust, but in this particular moment I was having a difficult time with that.  Logically, I knew that my soul was out of control and I could not seem to, within my own strength, get it back in check.  I confessed this honestly before the Lord.  “Lord, I want to trust you, I need to trust you, what other choice do I even have?” Silence filled the room.  “Lord, help me to trust you.”

He restoreth my soul (Psalm 23:3)

As if He was just waiting for an invitation into the situation,  immediately peace overwhelmed me.  As honestly and forthright as I had been with Him, He now returned the favor.  “I have never left you or forsaken you.”

A gentle reminder of truth.  I had no grounds to argue; my mind filled with all of the times before that I had been at this same place and He had proven Himself faithful and trustworthy.

In Psalm 23 we are likened to sheep and the Lord as our Shepherd.  The green pastures  are places of peace and rest, even as the enemy looms.  Constantly surrounded by the unknown, sheep, who by nature are a fearful and defenseless animal, are able to find  peace because they have confidence in the shepherd.  They trust their shepherd, they rely on their shepherd and they find comfort in the presence of their shepherd.  They know by experience that their shepherd will protect them and keep them safe.

In times of restlessness and lacking peace remember Psalm 100:3… “Know the LORD, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.

Father thank you for always being such a good Shepherd.

All Ya Need is Love

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  1 John 4:7 (NIV)

LOVE love love love…all ya need is love… come on- sing it with me!

While reading John chapter 4, I can’t help but think that – LOVE – real love, true love- is not always rainbows and sunshine.

Sometimes love is hard truth given as gently as possible.

Sometimes love is the willingness to bear the brunt of another’s hurt and clean up a mess you didn’t make.

Sometimes love is well set boundaries and sometimes it’s looking another in the eye and laying it all out for them right at the bottom line.

Sometimes love is refusing to allow someone to treat you in a way that is not acceptable because they need to learn that it’s not okay and no one else has ever loved them enough to have the courage to stand up to them before.

And then there are the things that love is always…

In bold is how 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (MSG) lays it out for us well:

Love never gives up.

Not even on people that make your eyeballs itch

Love cares more for others than for self.

Even when they care more about themselves than about you

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Even when it seems completely unfair and illogical that someone else would have it  

Love doesn’t strut,

Because we know that anything we have of value is only due to God’s grace and favor  

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Because it’s not about us but about Him in us  

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Because God is a gentleman and we should strive to be like Him  

Isn’t always “me first,”

Because we are to think of others before ourselves 

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Because we are to treat others the way we would like to be treated  

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Because in the same measure that we have received forgiveness…so should we give  

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Because we should hold the heart of God toward them

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Even when it’s hard, life changing and unrelenting  

Puts up with anything,

Because God puts up with us

Trusts God always,

Even when we don’t understand, because no one is more trustworthy    

Always looks for the best,

Because God valued each of us enough to die for us

Never looks back,

Because it doesn’t ever help you get where you want to go

But keeps going to the end.

No matter how much time or energy it takes

It seems to me, in the body of Christ, we have come to often confuse real love for false in your face kindness. The truth is however, that real love can be hard, unpleasant and uncomfortable and most people just don’t want to get their hands dirty. It’s easier not to.

For most of us, our own lives can be so consuming, so distracting, so very FULL within themselves that to take the time, energy and perseverance necessary to really love our brothers and sisters in Christ often requires more than we feel we have or want to give.

And yet, we are told in John 13:35 that the world is suppose to be able to recognize that we are Disciples of Christ by our love for one another.

In the absence of love, offense, un-forgiveness and strife are able to rear their ugly heads and take control of situations, circumstances and relationships.

John reminds us “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” (1 John 4:16)

Father, help me to love as you love.